Of course, the one time they had gotten close to a confrontation she had quickly subverted the conversation so he couldn’t get the words out. She thought she knew Mal's feelings, but if he said it she'd have to leave, and if she heard it she wouldn't want to. When the light, furtive knock rapped on her door her thoughts were so focused on Mal that for a second she thought it might be him. Her hand shivered holding the teapot and she quickly set it down, aghast at her slip. Mal would never knock.

Pulling her robe tighter around her, she opened the door and was surprised when River fell into her, thin arms wrapping around her neck as she started to cry.

“River...why...what ever is wrong?” Inara asked, immediately reaching around the younger woman and pulling her into the shuttle, shutting the door behind her as she did so. River continued to cry. All Inara could do was rock her and murmur soothingly until the young girl’s tears had run their course.

Finally, after River’s sobs had quieted to a couple of hitched breaths, Inara handed her a handkerchief to blow her nose and led her to the settee. “What’s wrong?” she asked again. “Do you need me to go get Simon?”

River reared back, completely panicked at the mention of her brother’s name. “No! Not Simon.”

“He’ll know how to help you better than I,” Inara murmured. “I don’t know why you’re so upset.”

“I need the Captain,” River whispered back. “Have something to tell him -- secrets that could destroy him. Can’t let Simon know.”

Inara frowned at her. “What secrets?”

“For the captain to hear first,” River replied. “He needs to decide. I don’t know what to do and I trust him. He isn’t one of them.”

“One of who, River?”

“One of them. They poke me and open up my brain and dump themselves inside me. I can feel them all breathing. He needs to help me,” she pleaded, searching Inara’s face anxiously.

“We all want to help you, mei-mei” Inara replied gently. “That’s why Simon...”

River started crying again, “Please, go get him. Go get the Captain. I need the Captain. Simon....Simon won’t help me at all!”

The girl was shaking again, her eyes wild with fear and tears. Her hair, which had at some point been neatly pulled away from her face and brushed, had come loose from its moorings and now hung wildly about her shoulders. It was hard to ignore River's terror of Simon. Her reasons seemed lucid, although to Inara she had never looked more unstable.

She might not understand why River didn’t want her brother, but she did understand that the girl seemed to know exactly what she did want for a change - and what she wanted was Mal. She was very adamant about that. A weird sense of dread filled Inara as she grabbed a rich chenille throw from the back of one of her chairs and wrapped it around the shaking girl.

“I’ll go get Mal,” she agreed. “Don’t go anywhere. I’ll be back.”

She found Mal in the cargo hold. From the looks of him, he’d been stacking crates not long ago. He was sweaty, his shirttails were pulled from the back of his pants and his suspenders hung loosely around his waist. The last time she had seen him so disheveled, he had just left Nandi’s bed. She felt her heart clench slightly at the sight of him and almost turned to flee before she remembered what she’d come for.

“Mal.” Her voice, spoken from behind him and from the shadows made him jump. “Ai ya huai le, what is it with people sneaking up behind me today?” he muttered as he turned to face her. He didn’t look happy to see her. Inara bit back a sigh.

“I’ve come to ask you if you could come to my quarters with me for a while,” she stated formally.

Mal cocked an eyebrow and his gaze grew suspicious. “For what?”

“I don’t really know,” Inara replied. Before she could continue, Mal interrupted her.

“You still planning on leaving us?”

Inara shrugged, “I’ve been researching my options.”

“Right. So, you’re leaving but you want me to come to your shuttle first. Is it because you want your last month’s deposit back? ‘Cause if it is, I gotta tell you right now you ain’t getting it ‘til your stuff is packed and gone.”

“It’s got nothing to do with my deposit at all,” Inara snorted. “I just want...”

“One final cup of tea with me? Is that it? Only realizing now how much you’re going to miss me?”

“You are impossible,” Inara hissed. “I don’t even know when I’m leaving yet.”

“And there’s another thing,” Mal nodded, “I’ll need a date. So I can start making plans on renting out your shuttle again. If you’re going to go, it’s better you do it quick, like a bandage, dong ma? The longer you dawdle, the more hurt Kaylee will be when you leave.”

Inara could feel the blood rising to her face and had to forcibly will herself to calm down. Mal always did this. He had the ability to crawl under her skin like a burr and get her so angry she couldn’t think straight.

"Gao yang jong duh goo yang, River is in my shuttle, practically hysterical, and you’re the only person she wants to talk too.”

Mal blinked at that. “Why? I ain’t her brother.”

“I don’t know why, she won’t tell me. But I promised her I would get you and not Simon. She’s crying and she doesn't want to see him.”

“I know. Seems she’s been trying to ignore or avoid him since breakfast time.”

“So, you’ll come then?”

“Don’t have much choice in the matter, do I? After all, it’s the Captain’s job to make sure his passengers ain’t bothered, especially when they pay as well as you’ve been. I’ll come take her out of your hair.”

Inara frowned at him, before spinning on her heel and muttering under her breath, “You’re a real bastard, you know that?”

“I know it,” he thought sardonically to himself as he followed her up the stairs and across the catwalk to her shuttle, “a real bastard.”

“Zoe!” Mal’s loud bellow as he burst from Inara’s shuttle echoed throughout the ship. Jayne, who was trying to write a letter home to his Ma, heard it. He quickly dropped his pencil and grabbed one of his guns.

Kaylee, in the engine room, heard it over the hum of the ship’s engines and immediately thought that something bad had happened -- like, another bounty-hunter trying to board Serenity. Wiping her hands across the front of her overalls, she ran for the kitchen. She had seen Book in there earlier, and from the sound of Mal’s voice, Kaylee didn’t want to be alone right now.

In the kitchen, both Inara and Book stopped their easy conversation and looked up. Inara’s face was composed as she murmured, “I suppose he didn’t like whatever secret River told him.”

Book agreed, “Most people don’t like other people’s secrets.”

They both stood and walked to the door, looking out into the hallway. “I guess we’ll find out what’s going on soon enough,” Book stated.

“Not me,” Inara replied. “I’ve had enough drama for one day, thank you. I think I’ll go back to my shuttle now that he’s obviously left it.”

Zoe, who had been with Wash in the cockpit, heard Mal’s cry and immediately recognized it for what it was: a call to arms.

“Tian xiao de,” she muttered, as she pulled the gun from her hip and quickly unlatched the safety and moved out into the hallway. Behind her, Wash flipped the ship into autopilot and followed. They met Mal on the catwalk between the passenger quarters and the cargo bay.

“Sir?” Zoe nodded when she saw him.

Behind them, Jayne was clattering up the stairs from the crew quarters, a large semi-automatic clutched in his hands. “Is it another uninvited visitor?” he asked.

“You could say that,” Mal agreed darkly. “You pick up those cuffs I asked you get on Persephone last time we was there, Jayne?”

The large Merc nodded. “They’re in my bunk.”

“Good -- get them. Wash -- stay back. Don’t let anyone else come through here until Zoe and I get back, dong ma?”

Wash nodded, trying not to look nervous. “What’s going on, Captain?”

Mal shook his head. “Hopefully nothing that we can’t contain,” he muttered darkly. “Zoe - come with me. We’re going to pay the good doctor a little visit.”

Simon was following Captain’s orders, sleeping in his bunk, when Mal and Zoe burst in on him, guns drawn.

It took him a few groggy moments before he realized neither was smiling at him, and a few seconds longer before he realized that each held a gun on him.

“What’s going on?” he mumbled as he rubbed his eyes in confusion. “Is there something wrong with River?”

“Nothing shoving you out an airlock won’t cure,” Mal gritted back. His eyes were colder than ice. “Zoe, search his things.”

“What am I looking for, Sir?” Zoe replied.

“Anything that will link him to the Alliance,” the Captain replied.

“The Alliance?” Simon squeaked out. “Me? What’s going on?”

“Why don’t you tell me, Doc? Seems you ain’t been completely honest with us about who you are.”

Simon looked at Mal in confusion, before he eyed Zoe warily as she went through his drawers. “I don’t know what you’re talking about,” he replied. “I’ve told you everything you’ve ever asked me.”

“You’ve told me lots of things,” Mal agreed, “but I have to ask myself how much of it was the truth.”

Zoe was in the closet now, removing the large trunk Simon had stored in there on the floor. It was locked, of course, and before Simon could tell her where the key was she had knocked the lock off with the butt of her gun.

“Well, lookie here,” she whistled under her breath as she lifted a grey Alliance uniform from underneath a pile of Simon’s vests. “Seems River might have been telling you the truth after all, Sir.”

“River?” Simon blanched when Zoe and Mal both turned murderous eyes on him. “But she knows -- I’m not...that’s the costume I used when I rescued her from the Academy! I’m not...”

“Shut up,” Mal hissed, “and follow me.”

When they reached the dining area, Mal took the handcuffs from Jayne and cuffed Simon to the chair.

River was there, watching him. Her face was drawn and pale, and her eyes glowed with both triumph and pain when she saw him. Her smile and relief had been so genuine when she had seen the Captain bring him in at gun point, Simon had wanted to cry out at seeing it.

Kaylee was beside herself. “What are you doing?” she had asked the captain. “Why do you and Zoe have a gun pointed at Simon?”

“He’s with the Alliance,” Mal muttered darkly.

“I am not!” Simon protested, but Zoe cut him off by showing everyone the uniform she had folded over her arm.

“We found this in his room, hidden in the closet.”

“It wasn’t hidden!” Simon protested. “It was in my trunk.”

“Which was locked,” Zoe agreed coldly, “and hidden in your closet.”

Everyone was looking at Simon now, waiting to see what he’d say. “I’m not with the Alliance,” he murmured. “They’re trying to kill River and me, remember? You’ve all seen the warrants.”

“Maybe those warrants are all part of your cover,” Mal replied. “Maybe they’re only on the Cortex to make us think you’re a fugitive.”

“I don’t believe it,” Kaylee declared again. “Simon ain’t a purple-belly, Cap’n. He just can’t be! What ever put such a crazy idea in your head in the first place?”

“River told me. Simon ain’t her brother, Kaylee. Don’t matter what he’s told you -- and us -- it’s all been lies.”

“River?” Simon looked at his sister brokenly. “Why would you tell the captain that, mei-mei? After everything I’ve done to get you free and keep you safe, why would you lie?”

“You’re one of them, Simon,” River whispered back. “I remembered in my dreams. You were there! You’re testing me for them. I don’t have a brother -- they only made me think that I did.”

Simon hung his head at that. Her words cut him to the quick, but all Mal saw in his face was defeat. “You can’t deny it, can you?”

“Of course I can deny it,” Simon replied. “The question is, will you believe me or have you already made up your mind?”

“This is stupid,” Jayne offered suddenly from the doorway. “No way is the Doc with the Alliance. I was with them on Ariel, ‘member? Those officers treated him just as bad as they treated me ‘n moon brain. Why the hell would y’believe a word she says, when she’s always been crazy?”

“You sticking up for him, Jayne?” Mal asked incredulously. “Ain’t you been wanting them off the ship since they got on?”

Jayne shrugged, “Yeah. So what? I want them off the ship, captain. Not just Simon. Them. ‘Sides, I'd trust the Doc more'n I'd trust her. All she's ever done is cut me up, but him? He ain't never hurt me, even when he had reason to."

Mal glared at him. “I can’t take any chances with my crew. What if he is Alliance, huh? What then? We keep him here and he turns us all in? Slits our throats in our sleep?”

“If he wanted you dead, he could have done it a long time ago,” Wash broke in. “He’s had plenty of opportunity to just let you die, what with the large target that seems to be painted on your back lately.”

“Perhaps he didn’t want to blow his cover,” Zoe replied coldly.

“What cover?” Simon laughed weakly at that. “Perhaps me getting shot in the leg was part of that cover as well?”

“How do you explain the Alliance uniform?” Mal demanded.

“I already told you, it was part of the costume I needed to get River out. The men that helped me free her - they got it for me. I paid them for it, like we paid for the EMT uniforms you wore on Ariel.”

“This is a real uniform,” Zoe muttered. “Would have cost thousands of credits. It’s not some cheap knock-off.”

“I was a rich man,” Simon replied resignedly. “Not that it matters much now.”

“When you first came onboard, you told us other people got her out and delivered her to you.” Mal’s voice was deadly. “You been lying to us from the
get go.”

Simon sighed and hung his head at that. “It was bad enough when you thought I hadn’t been directly involved in her retrieval. If I had told you I was the one that went in to get her, you would have kicked us both off the ship.”

The captain frowned, “It wouldn’t have made a difference. Thought you were ‘fugies already anyway.” He paused, considering the younger man, before asking, “Why would River say you weren’t her brother?”

The younger man looked at his sister and blinked back the tears this question provoked. “I don’t know. I was hoping...I thought she was getting better. She seemed better this morning, especially after last night. I thought she was having an adverse reaction to the meds I gave her - remember? I told you this morning that...” He paused and blinked. “Maybe…it’s the drugs I gave her. They seem to have made her more lucid, but they’ve also made her paranoid. It’s the drugs. It has to be -- they’re making her hallucinate.”

Mal looked at him skeptically, before turning to River. “You seeing pink elephants, girl? Flying rainbows? Anything you shouldn’t be seeing?” River shook her head no. He turned back to Simon. “She says she ain’t hallucinating, so who am I supposed to believe, huh? You? Or River? I’ve made too many mistakes already to make any more. If you can’t prove that you are who you say you are...”

“I understand,” Simon murmured shakily. “You’ll kill me.”

“The evidence you have right now is all circumstantial,” Book offered calmly. “None of it would stand up in a court of law.”

“I know,” Mal replied. “That’s the only reason he ain’t already been shoved out the air lock.” He looked at the younger man, before letting his gaze slide over to River who was sitting miserably on the table watching Simon. “I won’t let anyone hurt her no more,” he murmured. “Especially not you.”

“I understand,” Simon agreed again. “I don’t want anyone to hurt her anymore either. But this - if you kill me - it will hurt her, more than you could possibly know. When she remembers I am her brother again...when she realizes what she’s done...”

Mal contemplated him for a moment, before turning to Zoe.

“Stick him in the pantry, and keep guard. I need to think.”

“Yes Sir,” she replied. “How long?”

Mal shrugged at that, “Not too long.”

River Tam was dreaming, and she wanted to wake up. She had left the kitchen after Zoe had locked Simon in the pantry, not sure where to go or what to do. Kaylee had looked at her, eyes wide and accusing, and River knew her friend didn’t understand what was happening.

Her eyes burned from holding back the tears behind her lids -- Simon had looked so hurt and she had thought he was her brother for so long. Her first instinct had been to stand up and say that she was wrong; had made it up; Simon loved her. She felt like a large piece of her was missing -- since arriving on Serenity she had always seen herself in certain terms and Simon had had a large role in helping her establish her identity. She was Simon’s sister -- the Doc’s crazy little mei-mei. Now that he was no longer her brother and she was no longer a sister, she didn’t know who she was anymore.

Simon’s large trunk was still sitting open in the middle of the floor when she reached his quarters. The rich fabrics and shiny brocades of his vests, folded neatly inside it, mocked her. Growling her pain and anger, she grabbed the vest nearest the top and started ripping at it. Soon, it hung in her hands. Tattered. Ripped. Shredded. Like her life ever since she had woken up this morning and realized she had never had a brother.

The next vest was one of Simon’s favorites: a rich red brocade, shot through with black and gold silk. River didn’t realize she was crying until she picked it up and started pulling the buttons from it.

‘Mother bought him this vest,’ she thought to herself, ‘it’s always been his favorite.’ Button one - off. ‘Or it would have been his favorite, if he was really my brother, which he’s not.’ Button two went flying across the room. ‘How did they give me memories of people and events that don’t really exist?’

She couldn’t bring herself to rip the fabric. Instead, she slid her arms into it and pulled it tight around her, imagining Simon was hugging her like he had last night. She had always viewed him as her safety - her touchstone. It seemed to her she had always known that no matter where she was, Simon would always love her. She had counted on him more than she could even really understand, and now -- to realize that none of it was true -- that it had all been a lie...she felt as if the very fabric of her being had been torn away.

Her tears flowed in earnest. She didn’t know who she was, or what she was or why she was. She only knew she wanted her brother back; at the very least, she wanted the pretense of her brother back. The ‘Verse was an awfully big place not to have family in -- because, if Simon wasn’t her brother, where did that leave her? Who would take care of her as she fought the demons in her mind? Who would ever love her, when she was so broken?

Slumping into the bed Simon had been resting in earlier, River Tam cried until she fell asleep.

Continue to part four